she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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