Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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