omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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