I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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