it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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