It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
