Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
