there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
this just has baby written all over it
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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