my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
