So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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