He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
