sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
my poor anus
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
