we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
