You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
