when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
