kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
