butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
