I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
