One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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