It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
