I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
