He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
