Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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