Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Come back. Shots need mouths.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
