a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Ladies don't puke and tell
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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