So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
