We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Congratulations! We have a period
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