so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
