i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
