It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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