me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The struggles of a small town man whore
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
