I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
