I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
