DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
