Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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