I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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