I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Soap is not a condiment
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I am available for nakedness
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
