I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
