and you said cock pushups were impossible
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
