guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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