Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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