Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
