So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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