i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
