Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
