she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
