it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
