i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
