yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
