well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
